Recipe Box: Rihanna’s Guacamole of a Life

Perez Hilton reports: Rihanna’s concert in Winnipeg was delayed over 90 minutes because of an inspection conducted by border patrol. Her buses were pulled over and kept for further examination. It is believed that border patrol is to be blamed for making her fans wait…

           But this isn’t Rihanna’s first tardy performance. Last week she bummed out tons of fans when she appeared 4 hours late to a school charity performance. Was border patrol really to blame for this late arrival? Or is it something else? …Bad Gal RiRi has had a lot of stresses lately. She has been the talk of the town ever since she returned to the tatted arms of Chris Brown. And then she released her album, Unapologetic. Not to mention the hodge podge of touring events, photoshoots, and press interviews that she has had lately. You mix all those ingredients together and you get something beautiful… Rihanna’s Guacamole of a Life. (VIEW DETAILED RECIPE BELOW)

           Rihanna’s Guacamole of a Life: This recipe was inspired one late night after ransacking my fridge for a midnight snack. I thought to myself “…hmmm garlic sounds good with avocados, why not add garlic powder as well.” I just poured, chopped and mixed. As I dunked my blue corn tortilla chips into the melting pot of ingredients I used to make guacamole, I thought the stresses in my life. And as I usually do, I began to compare my life to my current celebrity crush Rihanna. I thought if I felt stressed, I could only imagine what she was going through. I thought about how much she had changed in the last few years. What she had been through… how much she had grown… What her daily schedule is like now. And I came to the conclusion that everyone has something to say about some aspect of her life (i.e. her relationship, her body, her music, her instagram) but rarely do people look Rihanna’s life as a whole. All in all, it’s a pretty amazing life! She has won numerous awards, makes great pop music, and is able to live out the love life she always wanted… There are so many different flavors in her life, sour moments, creamy moments, and the moments that leave you with a bite! As I scraped my bowl for the last remnants of guacamole I knew a recipe was born. I created a guacamole recipe that took a little bit of everything I could find & combined them to create one amazing recipe of Rihanna’s Guacamole of a Life.

Ingredients:

3 Haas avocados, halved, seeded and peeled
2 limes, juiced
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 shallot, diced
1 tablespoon chopped cilantro
1 clove garlic, minced

Directions:

1. In a large bowl place the scooped avocado pulp and lime juice, toss to coat.

2. Drain, and reserve the lime juice, after all of the avocados have been coated.

3. Using a fork & knife add the salt & garlic powder and mash. Then, fold in the shallots, cilantro, & garlic.

4. Add 2 tablespoons of the reserved lime juice. Let sit at room temperature for 15 mins. & then serve.

The Perfect Pairing: The Bachelor & Salted Caramel Cocoa

ABC News Reported: After an unforgettable season on The Bachelor, Sean Lowe proposed marriage to Catherine Guidici. Which means he sent Lindsay Yenter home in tears.

THE PERFECT PAIRING: The Bachelor & Salted Caramel Cocoa

The highly anticipated finale of The Bachelor aired last night and everyone waited to find out who Sean would give his final rose to. I will admit that I watched the finale emotionally glued to the TV. As I sat there watching ABC make the fantasies I had as a child about love into reality tv, I realized something was missing… my significant other. But instead of feeling depressed about being alone I settled on the next best option…a giant cup of warmth. And I am pleased to report it wasn’t vodka. The perfect pairing for the season finale to the most romantic show on network television would have to be salted caramel hot chocolate. Not only because it is comforting, warm, rich, and smooth (the qualities I look for in a male companion), but also because The Bachelor finale’s flavor profile is salty & sweet. It was heartbreaking to see Sean leave Lindsey. You could see the pain she was feeling & the sadness on his face as he was forced to say goodbye to a woman he really cared about. But then all that saltiness was washed away with sweetness when you watched Sean pour his heart out and propose to Catherine.

Love may not last forever, and significant others may come in & out of your life, but at least you know if you ever get lonely…there is a cup of steamy Salted Caramel Cocoa waiting for you somewhere!

AND HERE ARE SOME ADORABLE PICTURES TO LOOK AT WHILE YOU SIP ON THAT FINE CUP OF COCOA:

 Catherine supporting Sean on Dancing With The Stars

 The happy couple are nothing but smiles as they shop in Beverly Hills

 There was an instant connection between the pair

 Cheers to the happily engaged couple!

 
XOXO

Hours of Operation: Silverlake Ramen House

It was a random Sunday night and my friend and I wanted to eat some soup. While in search of a Vietnamese Pho restaurant we came upon this restaurant by chance. I was a little nervous because I had never had this japanese soup before & didn’t know what to expect. After first bite let’s just say I was hooked…I wouldn’t be lying to tell you that I returned the very next day for more! …and am contemplating going back again this week. 

With a rating of 4.8 out of 5 on multiple food websites, I knew that SilverLake Ramen  would be wonderful for my first experience with ramen! But I need to make something clear. Ramen is not the dried artificially-flavored 10-cent instant meal found in college dorms across America. Real Japanese ramen is a delicious, unctuous thing of beauty.

It is served in a bowl twice the size of your head. The luscious pork-based broth is served with slightly chewy noodles, crisp bean sprouts, scallions, and glazed pork belly. This orchestra of flavors will have your mouth singing by the end of the night. The flavor tones are intense… it seems like every sense on your tongue is vibrating with enjoyment.

Before taking my first bite I expected a taste similar to Pho, the other popular Asian soup. I anxiously waited for my bowl because I really didn’t know what to expect. But if pho was a light, simple girl…Ramen would be her beefier, thicker, spicier older brother. The pork broth is so creamy and filling. There is an undertone of heat, but the kind that warms the soul. The sprouts, scallions and seaweed provide texture and crunch. It cuts through the thickness of the broth and chewiness of the delicious egg noodles. Then when your mouth is just beginning to get used to the crunch, heat, and texture your palette gets hit with a surprise! The perfectly crisp fatty pork belly. Pork belly is the part of pork used when making the best bacon. It is thick and meaty, but so juicy because of the fat content.

Some say simplicity is beauty when it comes to soup… but with everything Ramen has going on the ingredients still do not clash! It all comes together so beautiful that people cannot get enough.

“How does this relate to the entertainment world?” you might be asking… Well Japanese ramen has been popularized by celebrities recently. Specifically, the foodie some love to hate, Chrissy Teigen.

          In her food blog, Chrissy spent 6 days blogging about the “delushiousness” that is Japanese ramen. Her famous fiance, John Legend, and Chrissy flew to Japan in search of the most authentic ramen money could buy. Unfortunately, Chrissy was not able to pick just one restaurant. Instead she realized that ramen is and should be a “daily bowl of sodium and carby goodness.”

For those of you who don’t have the funds to fly to Japan on a whim here are a few great ramen houses in the LA area:

Silverlake Ramen

(323) 660-8100
2927 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90026

Santouka Ramen

(310) 391-1101
3760 S Centinela Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90066

Orachon Ramen

(213) 617-1766
Astronaut E S Onizuka St
Ste 303
Los Angeles, CA 90012

Hana Ichimonme

(213) 626-3514
333 Alameda St.
Los Angeles, CA 90013

The Perfect Pairing: Jennifer Lawrence & Bagel Bites

Perez Hilton reports: After celebrating her big wins during award season, Jennifer Lawrence was spotted relaxing in Hawaii with a fine bottle of wine & a neatly made joint.

 THE PERFECT PAIRING: Jennifer Lawrence & Bagel Bites

Jennifer Lawrence caught smoking marijuana wasn’t that big of a deal to the current generation. If anything, it added to here fan appeal. It showed that she was a normal 22 year-old American girl. She works hard, but still needs her rest & relaxation from time to time. Lawrence is no amateur when it comes to acting. She has been in front of the camera since she was 14. Her career has varied from role to role, but one thing remains true…that right now she remains a staple in Hollywood. Similar to the staple food item in most Americans’ freezers, Bagel Bites. The pair goes hand in hand because JLaw loves the green & Bagel Bites were voted the BEST food to eat when you are stoned by Holy Taco.

We can only hope that after she smoked her joint JLaw went back into her hotel room and phoned for some pepperoni bagel bites. So if toking it up is your thing & you feel like spending the night in & relaxing, why not pop some Bagel Bites into your pre-heated oven & pop in a Jennifer Lawrence DVD & discover the perfect pairing first hand.

The Perfect Pairing: Steven Tyler & Powdered Donuts

US Weekly Reports: Steven Tyler released the statement, “I snorted half of Peru” when asked about the reported $5 million dollars he has spent on his drug habit. His drug of choice was mainly cocaine.

THE PERFECT PAIRING: Steven Tyler & Powdered Donuts

Steven Tyler does drugs?!? I know everyone don’t get your panties in a bunch with this shocker! I read this article thinking whoever didn’t already know this or assume this must have been born yesterday, or must have been living under a rock. To those of you that were surprised: HE IS A ROCKSTAR PEOPLE! OF COURSE HE DOES DRUGS!! The amount of money he spent was a little surprising, but it only strengthened the argument that he is a rockstar who loves his white powder. This love made me think of my love for a different kind of white powder…powdered sugar! Both powdered donuts & cocaine must be consumed in mass consumption. You can’t just have one fix! And the more you have, eventually the more you need…well that’s the case for me anyways. GIVE ME POWDERED DONUTS NOW! But the best part of my addiction is that it won’t ever cost me $5 million dollars.

Recipe Box: Melissa King’s Naked Banana Buttered Muffins

TMZ Reported: Former Ms. Teen USA – Delaware, Melissa King, has been asked to step down from her title after an amateur porn she had done years ago surfaced online. Melissa has released a statement denying that she is the girl in the adult film. But after BroBible.com released clips from the video…there was no denying that Melissa was the leading lady in the low budget film.

 

 Melissa King has gotten herself in quite the pickle…or should I say got quite the pickle inside of her? The former Ms. Teen USA – Delaware insists on denying rumors that she starred in a low budget adult film prior to winning her crown. I am sorry to say that the truth will always set you free Melissa. The adult film company released video footage of Melissa reading the contract and agreeing to the terms and conditions of the company. After this video was released online the Ms. USA organization asked for Melissa to turn in her crown & sash. This depressing story of dreams being crushed by a…well banana (pun intended) inspired me to make a delicious recipe of moist Banana/Cranberry muffins. So hopefully after baking this recipe, you & Melissa can get your fix without feeling too guilty! (VIEW DETAILED RECIPE BELOW)

         Melissa King’s Naked Banana Buttered Muffins: What inspired me to make this recipe? Well to be honest when I first heard about this story I was shocked that a pageant queen would have a background in the adult business… Okay who am I kidding, I wasn’t the least bit surprised. I immediately thought there goes another crown to be returned. But the second thought that popped into my head was as predictable as this story is, what would be a recipe that would not be… then I thought about my love of puns. I would have to do something with banana! Then it clicked, why not create a healthy recipe that would make a positive impact in people’s diet & possibly erase the emotional torture people would suffer from watching Melissa King’s $1,500 pornography!

Ingredients:

3 ripe bananas, smashed
1 cup dried cranberries
3 eggs, beaten
1/3 cup melted butter
3/4 cup of sugar
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 teaspoon of baking soda
1 pinch of salt
1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350°F

2. In a large bowl mix in eggs, butter, vanilla extract and bananas using a wooden spoon

3. Fold in dry ingredients

4. Spray non-stick canola oil onto cupcake tray and place liners in molds

5. Using an ice-cream scoop, pour in batter to cupcake molds

6. Place dried cranberries on top of batter

7. Bake for 25 minutes. Let cool on rack for 15 minutes & then serve.

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Recipe Box: Rihanna’s Black & Blue Sliders

TMZ Reported: Chris Brown has a message for Rihanna … and any other guy who might want a piece of her … back off, because “THAT IS MY P**SY!”

It seems like this is just yet another messup for Chris Brown…and by messup I mean obvious sign that he is an abusive, controlling, psycho boyfriend! So in light of Rihanna sticking by her man, I thought I would create a delicious but volatile recipe for Black and Blue Sliders. These mini cheeseburgers are a metaphor not only for Rihanna’s black & blue face when Chris Brown decided to go all UFC fighter on her, but it also represents Rihanna’s need to stick to someone that clearly is not healthy for her. Unfortunately when something is this good it’s hard to give it up! < — I am talking about my recipe here NOT their tumultuous relationship. But in Rihanna’s defense she did warn us… In “Half of Me”, one of the songs from her latest album, “Unapologetic”. Rihanna sings, “You saw the half of it, only the half of it…You know me everybody knows that I’m crazy. Sticks & stones never break me & I’m the type that don’t give a F***!”Well thanks for the heads up RiRi… Sticks & Stones may never break you, but Chris Brown’s fists will! But your tragedy has become my recipe success. But in Rihanna’s defense she did warn us… In “Half of Me”, one of the songs from her latest album, “Unapologetic”. Rihanna sings, “You saw the half of it, only the half of it…You know me everybody knows that I’m crazy. Sticks & stones never break me & I’m the type that don’t give a F***!” Well thanks for the heads up RiRi… Sticks & Stones may never break you, but Chris Brown’s fists will! But your tragedy has become my recipe success. (VIEW DETAILED RECIPE BELOW)

          Rihanna’s Black & Blue Sliders: This recipe is just my funny attempt at a play on words & an excuse to make a delicious burger. In no way am I trying to make fun of a serious topic like domestic abuse! I just want to get that disclaimer out there before continuing onto the recipe. But with keeping in spirit of the mood…suggestions for serving this meal would be best served after a long night of drunken debotchery, maybe after your man comes home asking for what is apparently his!

Ingredients:

1 pound of freshly ground chuck (preferably with an 85 to 15% meat to fat ratio)
4 tablespoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of grill seasoning
3 slices of thick cut cooked bacon
5 ounces of crumbled blue cheese
1/2 cup of thinly sliced onion
12 small burger buns of your choice

*feel free to add any burger condiments of your choice

Directions:

1. Place cold ground chuck into large bowl & chop bacon into little pieces.

2. Mix 2 tablespoons of olive oil, the chopped bacon, & 1 teaspoon of grill seasoning into meat.

3. Preheat the grill to medium-high.

4. Place thinly sliced onions and 2 tablespoons or olive oil in a small foil boat.

5. Set the foil boat on the grill to start cooking.

6. Using an ice-cream scooper roll out 12 uniform meat patties.

7. Put the patties on the grill & cook to desired temperature.

8. After cooked to desired temperature, remove patties and sprinkle on a tablespoon of blue cheese to every burger.

9. Add desired condiments & bun & then serve.